Ranking: 4 Pips = Great | 3 Pips = Good | 2 Pips = Okay | 1 Pip = Bad
Star Trek: The Motion Picture (1979)
Anika: 2 Pips
It’s pretty, has some nice character moments. Bit esoteric for me, plus it’s hard to watch Stephen Collins now.
Sam: 3 Pips
I haven’t seen it since the Stephen Collins thing, but this was my second favorite Trek movie when I was a kid. I kind of like the 2001-esque nature of it, and that ending got me every single time.
Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan (1982)
Anika: 4 Pips
I love others more, but I get why TWoK is considered the gold standard. It’s well constructed, showcases great performances, and has a strong emotional impact.
Sam: 2 Pips
Sorry. I sort of failed out on the ear wig scene. I’ve since watched it through and it’s objectively very good But I Just Can’t.
Star Trek III: The Search for Spock (1984)
Anika: 2 Pips
[Spoilers] I’m mad they kill off David, strand Uhura apart from the action, and don’t include Carol or Amanda.
Sam: 2 Pips?
My main memory of this is teenage Spock. I actually sort of want to revisit it now, unlike TWoK.
Star Trek IV: The Voyage Home (1986)
Anika: 4 Pips
Still my favourite Trek film. Save the whales, save the world!
Sam: 4 Pips
THIS IS THE BEST OG STAR TREK MOVIE, FIGHT ME.
Star Trek V: The Final Frontier (1989)
Anika: 1 Pip
I’m much more interested in the Nimbus III trio working together to subvert their governments than anything that happens in this movie.
Sam: 1 Pip
By this point TNG was out, so watching the original crew felt somehow odd. Also this plot was odd. Also this movie was odd.
Star Trek VI: The Undiscovered Country (1991)
Anika: 3 Pips
I have a love/hate relationship with this film. Love Valeris and Azetbur, Kirk’s arc, and the Shakespeare; hate the mind-rape, casual transmisogyny, and poor characterization of Uhura and Chekov for the sake of humor.
Sam: 3 Pips
When I watched this movie I (as an 11 year old) felt very grown up because of the political intrigue. Also I won $10 from my mom, because she didn’t believe that was Christopher Plummer.
Star Trek: Generations (1994)
Anika: 1 Pip
[Spoilers] No, but why isn’t Beverly Picard’s Nexus Wife? And for that matter, why isn’t any of Kirk’s love interests we’ve actually met, or even heard of, Kirk’s Nexus Wife? I just can’t buy into the Nexus, and therefore the stakes and motivations, with these bizarre choices.
Sam: 1 1/2 Pips
Does anything in this movie make sense? No! Do I like seeing Picard and Kirk ride dream!horses together? Yes!
Star Trek: First Contact (1996)
Anika: 3 Pips
Solidly the best of the TNG offerings. Deanna Troi is the MVP of this and all TNG films.
Sam: 4 Pips
The gold standard for Trek films in modern cinema, IMO. Great action movie, tight plot, terrifying villain, wonderful character moments, and nothing was inaccessible to non-Trekkies.
Star Trek: Insurrection (1998)
Anika: 2 Pips
Yawn. At least Nemesis has Admiral Janeway. It’s fine, but just a long TNG episode and there are much better ones.
Sam: 1 Pip
This is a movie that happened. Plus that conversation about the women looking younger was inane and should have made TPTB embarrassed about women in TNG.
Star Trek: Nemesis (2002)
Anika: 0 Pips
Nope.1
1Like, literally I blocked out the entire film the first time I saw it. I knew I’d watched it, but I remembered absolutely nothing due to mental trauma.
Sam: DISHONORABLE DISCHARGE
What a sad final entry for the original franchise.
Star Trek (2009)
Anika: 4 Pips
Because of this movie Jim Kirk leapt from ‘character I like because he’s in Star Trek’ to one of my favourite characters across all fandoms. The reboot movies are imperfect but they made me revisit TOS, and elevated Uhura from supporting character to co-star.
Sam: 3 Pips
I liked this movie. I liked that they gave Uhura more to do. I thought it lacked some of the heart that belongs in Trek, and I’m not here for Kirk’s daddy issues, but as a restart it does what it needs to do. I wish they’d taken some more risks, with casting and PANTS FOR WOMEN, but those are sort of contextual issues and don’t make the movie suffer too much.
Star Trek: Into Darkness (2013)
Anika: 2 Pips
Nearly everything wrong with this film would be solved by making Cumberbatch’s character a follower of Khan but not Khan himself. Or just not including Khan. 3 Pips in my heart.
Sam: 2 Pips
Oh, Benedict Cumberbatch was in this? I thought it was the love story of Doctors McCoy and Marcus. But sure, white!Khan’s cool too. I didn’t mind that it mirrored TWoK, but I’m a big fan of the kind of alternate universe tropes they’re using in this universe.
Star Trek: Beyond (2016)
Anika: 4 Pips
I love Star Trek because it’s a series about a family having social justice space adventures. This movie gets that right and gives every single character and relationship more time and more depth.
Sam: 4 Pips
Boy, this was the shot in the arm this series needed. It expanded the story to the entire crew, added a compelling new character (who I hope returns), and felt more like Trek than anything has since Insurrection. Hits that same gold standard as First Contact.
