I’ve had a NaNoWriMo account since 2010 but this was the first year I actually started participating. I “announced” my novel, and submitted daily word counts. They were well below what’s needed to “win” but I was writing consistently every day. Right up until November 8.
My mother introduced me to voting, and politics, when I was a toddler. She brought me along to rallies, to canvas, all of it. I had a little blue dress with red and white accents. These are some of my earliest memories. Standing outside the voting booth. Falling asleep under the cake table on election night. So I’ve voted in every election I’ve been eligible for, presidential through local, to make my mother, and in theory my country, proud. It hasn’t always gone my way. When George W. won reelection in 2004 I was speechless. I literally lost the ability to speak for a full 24 hours.
This year I lost the ability to write. I felt completely incapable of even thinking about my story, even looking at it. How could I write about damaged teenage girls finding hope if I didn’t have any of my own? But I was also restless and overwhelmed with emotions, mostly fear and anger, and I needed to focus it into something. I did the phone calls, I donated money, I joined lots of groups of like minded people, I commiserated, but none of it was tangible and I didn’t feel any better.
So, I made a Star Wars fanvid about Rey fighting back against Kylo Ren.
I’d had the idea for this vid when I first saw The Force Awakens — I’d always wanted to use Poe’s song “Trigger-Happy Jack” for a Star Wars vid but it didn’t quite work for Anakin, or more specifically, his relationships.
But it absolutely works for Kylo Ren. He can’t be reasoned with, not because he’s lost perspective or let his demons take control, but because he is unreasonable. Making that vid — giving into my fear and anger and attacking it with Anakin’s lightsaber — made me feel better. It even gave me hope.
I kept going. I wrote about Anakin’s hatred of sand as a metaphor for Anakin’s hatred of income inequality and how Padmé was the only one who understood. I wrote about Luke and Leia clinging to each other as they fought a war they were born into and how impossible it is to hold onto an identity when the story keeps changing. I rewrote Attack of the Clones in order to save little Boba, who in turn can save Anakin. I rewrote Revenge of the Sith to prove attachment is fundamental and with better communication disaster is averted. I sent Anakin into the future to tell Kylo Ren he was wrong about everything and showed them both that Leia is the brightest light in the galaxy. All of these stories are a reaction to the election of President Trump and his team of deplorables taking over. All are about fear, anger, hatred, suffering…and hope.
I don’t use use fandom to avoid my reality, I use it address my reality.
Now, I’m writing two stories for Yuletide, I signed up for a Star Trek fanworks gift exchange, and I’m collaborating with my daughter on a Soul Eater fanvid. But I am also going back to my novella. And I’m writing and talking about politics directly as well as indirectly. Thanks to Star Wars, I got my voice back.
All of my stories above were written as part of the Star Wars Rare Pairs Challenge, which was serendipitously winding up as the election happened. There are an abundance of stories in the collection and I encourage you to check it out! I received three story gifts about young men adoring General Leia, which were also perfect to read post-Hillary:
- achromatic by spookykingdomstarlight about Ransolm Casterfo (from Bloodline by Claudia Gray) and Leia. She also wrote this heartbreaking study of Ransolm, ratiocination.
- out of the fire and still smoldering by Thistlerose about Leia’s secret affair with Poe.
- Rivers and Roads by celeste9, in which Leia and Poe go on a road trip to gather support for the Resistance. It’s AMAZING.
